A Flying Morning Dew

So many things going on in the past few months enough to kill my posts here.

I am glad to say, or I should be glad to annouce, it seems gradually day in and day out, I shfted myself toward the supposeably RIGHT direction for my RESEARCH career.

I am getting used to have papers located at every corner of my living space, the toilet seat, the car door, benearth the head of my bed. I begin to be afraid to miss any single seminar taken place within my reach, no matter what field or topic it will touch. I tend to be social and talkable to whoever I met everyday, PIs, collegues, classmates, friends, salesperson, cleanning person, security, teamates.... sometime i do not feel it is the old way of me, but i make it as my struggle to blend in the new society here, I have to do this.

By the same time, the other part of my life... I am seemingly doing good with GF, every now and then we are having a good time; I enjoy my new type of my life with my car, carrying me around to any spot I want to go, tirelessly back and forth from Gym to Stowers, house to Stowers, Medical Center to stowers..... My basketball team proceed to the big final of the local league which is unbelievably awesome, cuz I am being the only international player in the whole league, though admittedly still a "role" one. What else, I tried to make my previous fun part with me as paralleled branch stream together with research life, but I faile to make them happening together without interfereing w/ each other, so i finally give up the right to become a normal teenager, give up to be Arthas holding frostmourne once again. Another good news is Yao's injury, which I assume have sth. to do with the Olympics, anyway, there is not much fun left for following Houston Rockets' game which have saved me days on other subjects.

 Apart from my car, another new purchase is my new soccer clips, my first pair ever in my life. Now I play regular soccer game once a week in front of Nelson-Atkins Museum with my collegues, besides my two basketball session at weekend, plus every wednesday's game night's league game, I am becoming a professional ball player, this point is my most satisfied part for my recent life. Perhaps not the best yet, cuz i indeed have a very supportive girl friend by my side which I am thankful, but most of the time i feel lots of stuff is uncontrollable/unforseeable with her which never happen in my life.

All in a nut shell, good sign about me is i begin to appreciate the road I picked up, also the city, the school KU, the institute Stowers..... the new life to be a independent individual.... I am sure I will be evolving soon after, hopefully I can keep up with this good trend.

Though lots of new stuff around me, I still miss all the old-self, miss all my life in China, my family, all my friends...... perhaps this is the part you have to give up upon.

sky? limit? talk about me? I would only like to be the cloud...

In the past month, my experiments slowed down due to various uncontrollable factor technically, OR may be the actual reason behind is the running off of my previous enthusiasm which carried me going on for several week's CRAZY life...... The real part of me is beginning to seize up the control of my everyday, the great scientific dream is gradually stepping backward into closet. Oh, PLEASE, do not fade so quickly, you are supposed to sustain my study for 6-10 years, but now it is only after months.....

Apart from the troublesome course study and the frequent fake smile during so-called small talk, a voice deep inside is yelling: I want to be alive, I want some time belong to myself! So I think I will try to let it go for some far-away goals and try to secure myself in everyday, to cherish the moment when I still a young enough to laugh and enjoy freely and crazily. I wish I could.

How can I at the same time to keep up with the latest scientific progress? Am the one born to read papers? I do not know at all. I wish I could be that kind of paper maniac, but day in and out, I begin to realize I am probably not that kind of zealot.

Hope some of the answer can be revealed soon~ Can and only by myself.

I am sorry but I have to say that his full name is Damn As Cat, I do not know how this related to him, but only thing I know is he kind of enjoys this HUMAN sound, whenever I shout out D~A~C, he just tireless miaos back, "Miao Miao~" Haha, share some pic of him and I want to thx him for companying me through some lonely hours :p Wish he sometime will see the post~